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#22 Paranoia

So being an extremely paranoid being I think I can say all these experience I've gathered with it over all these years were definitely not fun. As in B-Peace ain't had no peace with this piece of shit mind exploding situations up and constantly having to tell myself that I'm wrong and its not as I'm thinking it is while just in that phase was well....hard. Just hard. Now being paranoid may be one of those weird shits they show on TV to you and some are legit too but the real ones are so much worse ....just the TV guys exaggerated the shit out then.....well the TV is worse...so so worse. But its not easy....not being able to trust anybody and well constantly doubting the ones you've been able to trust just because you see some, well "signs" which is telling you you're getting betrayed. The head just explodes with all those dark thoughts over just a small trigger that sets you into "doubt everything and everyone" state and well that takes you to a dark place and its blinding. You know no trust ...no one to trust.... All alone...... The self pity.... The sorrow......its all just sad ....just so much sad that you end up tearing up and its a stinger too really... Well I guess thats what motivates ya to help others because no one should have to go to that place no one deserves that fate. But when you go through it you just end up pushing everyone away thinking that'll help. It never did. I mean I personally could've avoided it so many times if only I had the courage to ask just anyone of those I'd grown to trust to like stay and well just be there but nope... No trust when in the rust bruh.
-Beep-ish

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