Skip to main content

#18 Off The Chest Chapter 3

Wew... that's a quick one but you know, one of those sudden realizations and so had to type this one out real quick. So, apparently I do hold grudges, and plot revenge and in fact have gone batshit hardcore into it. Its just that I've never realized what I was doing, hadn't until now. Well, its not that I've never realized that "Yup, I'm plotting to like really hurt this person" or "Yup, got so much hard feelings fucker!", I have, and apparently its okay to feel and do so when the other person has like gone over a certain threshold. So, no guilt taken. Also, if you ever feel like I'm hurting or tormenting you without knowing or for no reason at all, yeah chances are there might be reasons and yeah ...I'd bet a good chunk of money on me being aware of what I'm doing, sorry can't help it, can't be B-Peace with all the mantoxication not being let out somewhere. And yes, those are legit terminologies.... that I total made up, but on the bright side, they weren't made on the fly, definitely been using them for a while now. Now, the reason for it all maybe something really big or just petty ol' me making a petty ol' thing into something big,....big enough for me to be holding a grudge over it. So, if you're ever found on the latter half of reasoning, well....tough luck buddy, but SUCK IT! 
Although, I'll never admit to it that I'm holding a grudge...no matter how much that imaginary lil shit will try to convince me otherwise, so even if I'll never admit to it, even to myself  I still will do so because, well...it took this long to figure out what I was doing and -you know how this one goes- I'd be damned if it doesn't take just as long to get used to it and embrace it. But, don't worry,y'all will always get the good ol' Beepish, dealing with Mantox is our job. Rest assured, or don't. You probably shouldn't I mean its not like I'd give the link to my blog to someone I'd hold a grudge against so... you know...Live long and prosper! 
Peace!!!
-3aze

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

#15 The note to self thingy

Yeah... I don't know if I spoke of it but this seemed interesting so here we go.... Yeah... remember all that "was never prodigious" and shit...well maybe you just might be...its just that you lose the drive to do the shit.... But when you get the drive then..... Ohh hooooou brother 20180408.0612 Realizing you're the only one with a fucked up brain that does some bizarre and fairly creepy stuff is something I'm getting used to. Like things I think are normal when seen from somebody else's perspectives are not normal dude... Trust me on this. Use that different perspective thingy before saying something out loud. 20180408.0738 Things happen for no reason at all, randomly... but they create opportunities and you learn from those opportunities, even the missed ones. The question is...can you recognize that opportunity when it matters the most. 20180409.0238 So apparently I treat everyone I'm in a more friendlier term with, like the boys.... And don...

#21 Off The Chest Chapter 4

So...was so frustrated that finally cried out and no it's not just because of that exam stress it had a long time coming, I mean I had to let it out at some point, I mean how long was I gonna suppress Mantox? But despite all that shit the only thing I remember saying through it all is "I don't wanna fail anymore" over and over and over again. Man it was agonizing but all that frustration had been building up for so long. For so long I had to act strong. The facade was getting weak, I mean of course it was but damn I took my sweet time letting it all out. That was a whole lot worth of frustration and as I was saying through it all I don't wanna fail anymore, now that's not just for the exams its for all those shit that I failed at. All those failures it took me really deep into that dark place again and well the last 1hr was well blinding I guess. Man this soloing shit is really hard and I can't give myself a tight hug but I really probably need one right ...

#10 No sure if unpopular... but still an Opinion

First of all, yes I really need to start naming these instead of just numbers [Checked],okay? I get it. But, lets jump up to the matter at hand.... How much sheepish can a society get? I mean yeah sheepish stuff are domesticated and a domesticated society is good, all nice and constant. But what's the point in all that? Where's the progress that all these people in the "herd" are probably demanding. They want to do something just because everybody else seems to be doing it. They want it because they want to part of something bigger, something meaningful. But where's your new input in it? You're just following your shepherd, doing what he tells you is right. But, a complement is due here, because these shepherds are damn good at making you believe that what they are demanding or working on or something along those line, is also the thing that you need. They have this really good ability to make you believe that what they're saying is something worth fighti...