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#12 Off the Chest Chapter 1

You know sometimes..I do think of letting people know that, no I had been working hard for this. Yes, I do care what the result to all this is. Yes, it does hurt to fail after all that. No, I just say its no big deal for your sake, IT IS a big deal.... I mean it could be. Its just that something inside just stops that emotion from coming out in the open. Someone in here firmly whispers.. "You know it won't matter to them right?" I mean yes it hurts a lot... a lot more than I let out but what's the point. I mean, more often than not its my own fault, and I accept that. But it still hurts yo. You have no idea what I'd give to sit the younger me down and give him a good beat down. I mean, why the fuck were you smiling for? Just admit that it hurts....why is your puny self trying to act tough for? Go on and ask for help already. Then again... I do scream all those things to myself during those times but the lil shit never trusted anybody with these things. I know, my fault, but still .....
And yeah I am talking smack about this lil kid who can't defend himself right now against these charges and yeah I know the older version of this kid ain't gonna be any different... I know ... There's a limit to wishful thinking...but hey maybe I'll hit my head or something someday and .... You know that thing will happen. I mean the initial motive behind writing all these stuff ...here and in all those diaries was because for these reasons you know. But that lil kid will keep on evolving, his ideas will keep on changing, his perspective will keep on changing and......  Well what I'm saying is there is no one single version Bpeace, or anyone as a matter of fact. Just different versions changing throughout the timeline. So even if someday it appears that I'm a completely different person than I remember I was, don't worry... Its supposed to be that way.
Peace out✌
#Beep_ ish
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