Skip to main content

#4 A personal rant

You know I was never as great as I was made to believe I was. I was never this prodigy, this genius, this ..... Shikamaru-ish person, yeah let's go with that. All throughout my childhood everybody sang the praise as if they were in the presence of some saint or deity. And as much as I'd like to claim the latter one was true(😇) , its not. I was never great, never prodigious....probably better than the above average at best. I thought I never had to learn anything, that all knowledge would just come flowing in and I could just laze around because why not. Although this held true for quite a while, my misjudgment were always catching up to me. And eventually surpassed everybody's expectation. And me being the paranoid pessimist, who'd always just assume the worst case scenario, would be happy about how it all turned out because the worst case scenarios that I saw for myself were always way worse off and I could at least say I'm happy at least non of those scenarios happened ..... Yeah, who am I kidding they did, not always but even my worst case scenarios come true, but never surpassed. Now aren't we glad about that at least. I don't know what I'm thinking let alone what I was thinking but I still don't know how I thought everything'll turn out fine... I mean I'm a freaking pessimist for my sake....😇....it kinda baffles me remembering myself not giving a shit about consequences. I mean who hell did I think I was? And its all kinda sad when I think about it .....
-Beep_ish

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

#15 The note to self thingy

Yeah... I don't know if I spoke of it but this seemed interesting so here we go.... Yeah... remember all that "was never prodigious" and shit...well maybe you just might be...its just that you lose the drive to do the shit.... But when you get the drive then..... Ohh hooooou brother 20180408.0612 Realizing you're the only one with a fucked up brain that does some bizarre and fairly creepy stuff is something I'm getting used to. Like things I think are normal when seen from somebody else's perspectives are not normal dude... Trust me on this. Use that different perspective thingy before saying something out loud. 20180408.0738 Things happen for no reason at all, randomly... but they create opportunities and you learn from those opportunities, even the missed ones. The question is...can you recognize that opportunity when it matters the most. 20180409.0238 So apparently I treat everyone I'm in a more friendlier term with, like the boys.... And don...
Post a Comment
Read more

#21 Off The Chest Chapter 4

So...was so frustrated that finally cried out and no it's not just because of that exam stress it had a long time coming, I mean I had to let it out at some point, I mean how long was I gonna suppress Mantox? But despite all that shit the only thing I remember saying through it all is "I don't wanna fail anymore" over and over and over again. Man it was agonizing but all that frustration had been building up for so long. For so long I had to act strong. The facade was getting weak, I mean of course it was but damn I took my sweet time letting it all out. That was a whole lot worth of frustration and as I was saying through it all I don't wanna fail anymore, now that's not just for the exams its for all those shit that I failed at. All those failures it took me really deep into that dark place again and well the last 1hr was well blinding I guess. Man this soloing shit is really hard and I can't give myself a tight hug but I really probably need one right ...
Post a Comment
Read more

#10 No sure if unpopular... but still an Opinion

First of all, yes I really need to start naming these instead of just numbers [Checked],okay? I get it. But, lets jump up to the matter at hand.... How much sheepish can a society get? I mean yeah sheepish stuff are domesticated and a domesticated society is good, all nice and constant. But what's the point in all that? Where's the progress that all these people in the "herd" are probably demanding. They want to do something just because everybody else seems to be doing it. They want it because they want to part of something bigger, something meaningful. But where's your new input in it? You're just following your shepherd, doing what he tells you is right. But, a complement is due here, because these shepherds are damn good at making you believe that what they are demanding or working on or something along those line, is also the thing that you need. They have this really good ability to make you believe that what they're saying is something worth fighti...
Post a Comment
Read more