#1 A really old rant to start this off

You know every time something happens i wanna revolt, you know become this evil monster that everyone thinks I am. Just screw it all and do as I please. But sadly, I can't. It hurts to acknowledge it, but I'm more human that I'd  like to admit. I cant do stuff that I cant consider right. No, these shitheads didn't teach me shit about morals or anything, they ain't taught me anything that made me who I am today. They may say I don't see what they've done for me, but frankly I do. Yeah, I know about those sacrifices and hardship that was done for my sake. I'd appreciate all that too, if only I wasn't constantly reminded of that, day in and day out. It doesn't help that they don't know how to word it either and end up coming off as more arrogant than it was meant to be. But it is in fact arrogance to talk about what you've done, especially when I never asked for it. Yeah, again I appreciate all that was done but I don't remember asking for any of those. I mean it was your choice to bring me here, although I don't know if it was all a mistake and never meant to be though. You say I never had to ask for anything and was given everything before asking? Well yeah, kinda your duty you know. And yeah, there are people who'd kill to be in my place, but here's the real kicker,they're not. but coming back to the matter at hand, that inner demon that I wish I could bring out.... I cant. I simply cant bring out the monster in me, simply because of the fact that it doesn't exist,...yet.
                                                                                                               I ain't never gonna stoop to your level, yet, and trap someone up emotionally.I ain't capable of that either, But what I can do is what I deem right. Right for me at least. Yeah, I cant figure out what I wanna do with my life, might still take me years to figure it out. Every decisions I took to get to this point, and I don't know how righteous or fruitful any of them were, they were and are dear to me.I don't take a decision on a fluke you see, its not my thing. I might make it sound like I do, but I cant. Even the smallest of details in my life, Ive thought over them at least four or so times. Even to write this up, the start, okay took me lesser time, but still, if I take a decision and someone tells me I cant go with that choice then it'd be the obvious thing to know that I'd hate that person. That's how its been all my life and it'd take one hell of a miracle to change that.
                                                                        -Beep_ish